DEAR MARTIN, WORDS FOR A KING

Dear Martin,

I have looked up to you since I was a little boy. I was only 14 years old when you were killed. I cried until my eyes were swollen and when we went to church that Sunday our minister, who had marched with you many times, told all of us that the American family had a roll in your death. That this country, my country, had been crippled by the poison of racism, of hatred. He called on each of us to carry your message and work hard for your dream. To work hard for the day when children and adults were no longer judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

We are closer, Martin. We are closer. This Tuesday, the day after the day honoring you, the first African American will become the president of the United States. My eyes flood with tears of joy just writing that sentence.

The struggle for equal rights goes on on many fronts. You have been my role model in my efforts, although I have yet to reach your place of faith and spirituality. But I have held you close to my heart all these years, and having you there helps me. The price I have paid for my part in civil rights pales by comparison to the price paid by so many good and decent people. some paying with their lives, a price I am humbly willing to pay as well to assure justice and equality for all people.

Not long ago I was pushed out of a health care company because they needed to evict a voice they could not silence, a voice that insisted that the people receiving services there be treated with respect and given choice. In the scheme of things, my price was a small one.

You once said, “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.” So true.

I don’t know what remains for me in life. But I do know that I am blessed to be on the board of an association that works with people who have survived brain injuries and I was recently appointed to a council that works heart-and-soul hard to make sure people with disabilities are afforded the chance to be as independent in the world we all live in, which includes equal rights.

God bless you, Martin, wherever you are. If you see my father and my family, give them my love and let them know I am doing my best. Perhaps they already know. I’m never quite sure about that one.

I’m going to include a link below for my readers to go to so they can see your “I Have a Dream Speech.”

Thank you, Martin, for all you’ve done for all. The struggle continues for many, and I will be in it until my last breath.

With love and respect,

Peter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEMXaTktUfA&feature=related

POSITION PIECE #1

Since the Life Growth Blog has just begun and given that it is an advocacy page, a page that will be inviting your views and opinions, it seems only fair that I give you a glance at my position on some topics. I'll start with the following four topics.

Gay Marriage: I support it.

Abortion: Prayerfully pro-choice

Death Penalty: Against it.

Gun Control: For it.

There are other issues for sure, and no doubt we will get to them later. But before that time arrives, let me share a few things.

I believe all people have the right to be who they are safely in the world they live in. Safely does not include hurting others. Safely in the world means respect for others as well as respect for yourself.

Anyway, this is the first of what I imagine will be several position pieces.

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HEALTHCARE BULLIES

I have seen my fair share of bullies in the healthcare field. Since my first foray into the healthcare arena in 1985 to this day, I have seen healthcare workers from management to ownership, from clinical staff to line staff, use their positions to control and bully people who are, in many cases, tragically susceptible to this treatment, often because of the healthcare system design itself.

When you require a form of support and services in order to stay in the community and, in some cases, stay alive, it is hideously unconscionable that you are subjected to this kind of treatment.

I know of one community-based provider for brain injury that may still have one management employee who locks the doors when he begins his workshops and, if one of the participants needs to use the bathroom, they find themselves locked out of the workshop when they return. They are told that they should have gone to the bathroom before the workshop. Never mind they are deserving of respect and dignity.

I know of another program director in New York State that last I heard still tells new employees that anyone who has suffered a brain injury is incapable of thinking. Having been shot in the head myself and living with a bullet lodged in my brain, I am utterly baffled as to how I can write these words to you, much less write any damned thing in the first place, were this program director, who I will call Biff, correct in his observation..

I once asked Biff how was it that I am able to think.

Biff said, “You’re abnormal, Peter.”

I said, “I’m well aware of that, Biff. But that was true long before I was shot.”

A week or two after this conversation with Biff, it comes to my attention that a young man with a brain injury was refusing to leave his room. I go to Biff and say, “Why don’t I go talk with him and see what’s up?”

Biff says, “Go ahead if you think you'll do any good.”

I go to see this young man. He is 19 years old. He had been an athlete and suffered his injury when he was hit by a car. My dialogue with this young man went something like this. I’ll call him Paul

I knocked on his door, “Mind if I come in?”

“Come on in,” Paul says.

I say, “Listen, first thing I want to tell you, the last thing I plan on doing is try to get you to leave this room. You cool with that?” I knew people had been pressuring him to leave his room because they felt that was what he was supposed to do.

“I’m cool with that.”

“I wanted to know if you would teach me something.”

“Sure… What do you want to know?”

“Can you teach me, help me understand what stops you from leaving the room?”

“Look at me,” Paul says, his voice suddenly choked with emotion. “I leave this room, walk 10 feet, I can’t find my way back. One day I’m this really good athlete, next day a car hits me, it was a car that hit me?”

“It was.”

“One day this fucking car hits me, now I can’t remember shit, my balance sucks, I’m not an athlete anymore and I can’t find my way back to my own room, it’s scary as hell.”

I say, “Thanks for helping me understand, bro. Can I ask a favor of you?”

“Sure."

“All right if I come to see you, we can hang out here all you want.”

“I’d really like that."

I got up to leave. I say, “It was really good meeting you, Paul.”

He stands. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Can I get a hug?”

“Not a problem,” and I give this 19-year-old boy who is understandably afraid to leave his room because he couldn’t find his way back a hug.

I go and find Biff and relate my conversation with Paul to him. I conclude by saying, “You still want to say that’s not thinking.”

Biff looked at me and said, “That’s not thinking, that’s feeling.”

I say, “You're stupid, you know that, right?”

There are and always will be bullies among us. But there is good news. There are canyons of courage in the hearts and minds of those of us who have been wounded in life, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And if there is any universal truth to any bully, it is this, they are cowards.
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A PERFECT BEGINNING

I have been appointed to the New York State Independent Living Council (NYSILC) for a two year term commencing the first of this year. I cannot tell you how humbled and overwhelmed I am at the opportunity to add my voice to a group of extraordinary men and women who understand that each and every human being deserves to be able to be who they are safely and indepently in the world they live in and, lest anyone forget, be the captain of their own ship.

According to its website (www.nysilc.org), NYSILC is, among other things, responsible for developing the State Plan for Independent Living (SPIL) "in partnership with New York State Education Department/Office of Vocational and Educational Services for Individuals with Disabilities (VESID) and the Office of Children and Family Services/Commission for the Blind and Visually Handicapped CBVH."

I am not at all unique when I say that all too often health care providers and others treat people with disabilities as if they have somehow lost their humanity and thus have little if any cognitive awareness of the world they live in. They couldn't be more wrong.

As the voice of the disability community continues to grow in this country and throughout the world, a quote attributed to the Japanese admiral after the bombing of Pearl Harbor comes to mind. "I fear we have awakened a sleeping giant" he said of the American people. Very true. And so it is with those in the disability community. We are awake. There is more good news too once those of you who misunderstand people with disabilities grow past your histories into the light, you will realize that we are you.

What a wonderful way for me to begin this year.
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